What I can give

Monday, July 9, 2007

Another entry from my journal. This one is from July 6th. And the experience I wrote about just made me reflect on how nice it is that across cultures we have some commonalities that allow us to do small acts of kindness. In this case, as a woman, I was able to put myself in my patient's shoes...
Today Hollie and I were taking care of the vaginal fluid specimens again. The doctor, slightly distracted, was in and out of the room and Rosita, the nurse, supervised and instructed us. During one of my turns doing taking vaginal fluid samples, I began to look around the patient’s labia and anal sphincter for any lesions, warts, or ulcers as I do with every exam. Although I’ve seen several ulcers and warts already, for the most part they are usually under control. However on this patient, I found warts on her vaginal walls, one huge one on her labia as well as several other smaller ones, and some around her anus. I showed them to the doctor and then began inserting speculum, which (of course) hurt since the patient was a community person who was not used to these exams and so was not relaxed and because the lubricant-less speculum was rubbing against her warts.
I completed my exam as delicately as possible and as I was withdrawing the speculum, the nurse and I noticed that the patient had some bleeding around her labia. We decided to call the doctor to make sure it wasn’t an ulcer, but the doctor was nowhere to be found. So for several minutes my patient waited, laying on an examining table, with her legs in stirrups, and her body exposed to Hollie, the nurse, and myself who kept coming in and out of the curtained area. At one point I looked over at the patient and she looked as though she was going to cry and I felt for her. I pictured myself in her shoes, just being told I have an STI I know nothing about, laying in an uncomfortable position exposed to everyone who walks past, and I desperately wished that we used drapes at Barton. In the absence of that, I closed the curtain more and asked Hollie to come out from the curtained area. Then I decided to tell the patient that she could sit up until the doctor returned if she wished to.
The doctor was finally found and he determined that the bleeding was from abrasion to one of the warts, not an ulcer, and the patient was sent on her way. And I was left with a lot to reflect on. On the one hand, I had the initial excitement today of feeling like a medical professional. I saw a patient, I diagnosed her, and I gave her treatment (I put ointment on her warts). But on the other hand, I think the best service I did to that young woman today was just putting myself in her place and helping her to be comfortable.In my travels before and now I have always been very aware that I will be taking much much more from my experience than what I am able to give. But today it felt really nice to be able to give through such a simple act.